[30 Days of Fic - Day 30] "Regrets"
Jul. 10th, 2011 05:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kc_obrien"It's like something out of a bad soap opera," Jackie quipped from the back seat with all the bravado of a teenager.
"Is there such a thing as a good soap opera?" Her mother Carolyn replied, trying to head the rest of the conversation off at the pass, knowing how it had gone when she had it with Tom.
"Come on mom! Gathering around a TV in some lawyer's office to watch a video of my dead grandfather-"
"That's enough!" Tom interrupted too sharply.
It had been hard on everyone in the week since the death of Maxwell Dupuis. The worst part was the empty platitudes about how good a man Max was, how hard he had fought and how everyone had had a chance to say goodbye before the end. Tom knew that everyone meant to help, to give solace and to offer empathy, but none of them had had to see what his father was fighting against. None of them had to watch the strongest man they'd ever known slowly succumb to the cancer that was eating away at his insides.
"I'm sorry Dad."
"It's not your fault, honey, I shouldn't have shouted." As their SUV pulled up to a stop light, Tom reached back to squeeze Jackie's hand. "I'm sorry I yelled. It's just-"
"Hard." Carolyn finished, putting a hand on his shoulder
***
"You didn't even like your father."
Charlie spun on his heel and gawked at Marie, his on again/off again girlfriend of as long as anyone cared to remember. She stood in the doorway that led from the bathroom to the rest of the hotel room that Tom 'The Self Righteous Prick' had put them up in. Tom had paid for the flight for the two of them back in from Seattle and for the suit he wore to the funeral. He hated him for it almost as much as he loved him for it.
"Doesn't mean I didn't love him." He swallowed hard, taking a breath, "Don't."
She sighed and slipped into the bathroom, turning Charlie towards him, tugging at the shoulders of his dress shirt and straightening his tie (the one piece of dress clothing that had come East with them that was worthy of any of the week's affairs). "It doesn't mean that he wasn't a royal arse to you throughout. Why even bother going to the reading?"
After a moment's silence they came together, holding one another like there was no tomorrow. "Because..." Charlie tried to answer, finding that none of the words would come, finding the emotions to hard to convey, "because as much of a miserable son of a bitch as he was, he was my Dad, and he's gone now. He'd want me to be there."
***
The cab pulled up in front of a downtown office building. On its seventeenth floor was Liebman & Snyder Attorney's at Law. Jack Snyder had been one of Stephanie's father's oldest friends when he was alive, and by all accounts a good lawyer.
"We're here, miss." the cabby murmured, looking back at her.
"Yes. Can," Steph hesitated, completely overwhelmed, her right hand locked around the door handle, "can you please go around the block once more?"
"Lady, take my advice; you can't run away from the inevitable."
She gawked at his reflection in the rear view mirror. Dalip (or at least that was the name on his operator's license) had a nice smile that he wasn't showing right now, a kind face and honest eyes. She stared at him a few long moments, emotions gathering in her chest, mixing and churning and becoming something different. He's the same age as dad is she thought, inspecting his license again before looking back at him. As dad was.
"No. I can't. But it will be here when we get back, and maybe I'll have the nerve to open the door then." She swallowed hard, drawing her hand away from the door. "I'll give you an extra twenty if you can just give me those couple minutes."
***
Jack paced around his personal office nervously. Before the wake and funeral, he hadn't seen all three of Max's kids together since before Stephanie graduated from high school. Even then, Charlie always seemed at odds with his father, and so by extension was almost destined to be at odds with Tom who had always taken so strongly after Max.
And if Charlie resented Tom for being so much like his father and for being more loved, it was nothing compared to how they both fell into Steph's shadow. After their mother was taken from them by a drunk driver, her status as the apple of his eye only grew. And however much Charlie would rebel and Tom would imitate, they still stood in the shadow.
The intercom on Jack's desk rang loudly. "Go ahead, Lucille."
"Mr. Dupuis's family is all here."
"Thanks Luce." He sat at his desk and retrieved the video tape from the top drawer before murmuring into the . "Send them in."
***
There was an uncomfortable silence in the room. Six was honestly tight for the office, but it was how Max had wanted it. 'Intimate' he had called it. Charlie paced around like he was waiting for a fight while Marie had found a seat off to the side on the leather sofa and had been making small talk with Jackie. Steph was rigid in her seat, trying not to be weak for dad. Tom was a basket case and Carolyn sat beside him (in Charlie's chair) holding his hand tight.
"Your father," Tom finally said, drawing eyes to him, "bid me show you this video along with the reading of the will. He had me shoot it thirteen weeks ago." He swallowed and took a deep breath, "Just as things were starting to look like they were taking a turn for the worst. I'll read the details after but he insisted you watch this first."
The lawyer turned and slipped the tape into the player and pressed 'Play.'
***
Max Dupuis was vital if he was anything. Even sitting in a hospital bed with more wires connected to him than a computer, there was a sense of stature and strength to him, a sense that would stay with him until the final days. His jaw was set, a five o'clock shadow showing in the wash of florescent light. The first two rounds of treatments had left him bald, but his eyes were sharp.
"If my guess is right, this is the first time the three of you have been together in a room, excluding the Chapel at St. Gregory's and maybe this room here at the end, in a long damned time. And I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for a lot of things.
"I'm making this video because I honestly don't know what kind of shape I'm going to be in to say this to you all at the end, or for that matter if I'll get you all in a room with me at the end. And that's my fault too. It's funny how death's grasp makes you look at things. I wasn't always there for you the way I needed to be after mom died. And sometimes I think I was too hard on you, or too lax or too needy.
"Stephy," he murmured, his voice getting softer, "I love you with all my heart. I know that sometimes I leaned on you hard to be the woman of the house after your mom died. I put a lot of pressure on you and it was unfair. You needed a father to lean on while you were growing up, not to be a crutch to an aging man who wasn't sure where his place in the world was without his wife.
"Tommy, you did everything you could for my attention and my affection. You were everything a father could want in a son and more. I only hope that you didn't think that you had to be like me that," he hesitated, his eyes going down to his lap before they came up again, "that my love was contingent on that. It never was, proud as I was that you wanted to walk in my footsteps."
Max hesitated again, his eyes down in his lap. A tear rolled down his face. "Chaz," he murmured as his eyes came back up once again. "I'm sorry I didn't encourage you enough. I always wanted what I thought was best for you. And you know what they say about the road to hell." He laughed hoarsely and started to cough, hard. After a few moments, he took a deep breath and composed himself. "I never loved you any less for it, but I know it might have seemed that way, and god I'm sorry for that. I wish I'd had some of your work hanging in the house."
He coughed, more shortly this time, and drew his eyes up to the three of them. "All I have is yours. I only hope that you know how much I love you all and how much I hate that I'm the one who came between you, by my action and inaction." He shifted in the bed, pushing himself up a little bit taller. "I love you all, with every fiber of my being. I just wanted to make sure that... that you know that before I'm shook lose completely from this damnable mortal coil."
He coughed again, and the tape jumped ahead, like it had been shut off or a part had been edited out. Max seemed smaller somehow, lower in the bed. There was also an oxygen mask lying in his lap as he looked back at them. "You're not through with me yet." His smile was bright and fatherly, the colour in his cheeks seeming rosy instead of just red. "I have one more task for you to do. One last burden. Jack has my ashes. I want you to go down to the pier and spread me in the river. All of you. I want you to do this for me and I want you to go on and continue to live wonderful lives. Together."
Max swallowed and sat up a little bit, his eyes glossy. "Goodbye, my darlings. Remember always that I love you. And remember to love one another, not just because it's a dying old man's wish, not that it's not a good reason," he winked at them, "but because it's what brothers and sisters do."
==
This marks the 30th (and final) '30 Days of Fic' story. The task was to write a scene saying "good bye."
Click Here for a complete rundown of the works from this challenge.
"Is there such a thing as a good soap opera?" Her mother Carolyn replied, trying to head the rest of the conversation off at the pass, knowing how it had gone when she had it with Tom.
"Come on mom! Gathering around a TV in some lawyer's office to watch a video of my dead grandfather-"
"That's enough!" Tom interrupted too sharply.
It had been hard on everyone in the week since the death of Maxwell Dupuis. The worst part was the empty platitudes about how good a man Max was, how hard he had fought and how everyone had had a chance to say goodbye before the end. Tom knew that everyone meant to help, to give solace and to offer empathy, but none of them had had to see what his father was fighting against. None of them had to watch the strongest man they'd ever known slowly succumb to the cancer that was eating away at his insides.
"I'm sorry Dad."
"It's not your fault, honey, I shouldn't have shouted." As their SUV pulled up to a stop light, Tom reached back to squeeze Jackie's hand. "I'm sorry I yelled. It's just-"
"Hard." Carolyn finished, putting a hand on his shoulder
***
"You didn't even like your father."
Charlie spun on his heel and gawked at Marie, his on again/off again girlfriend of as long as anyone cared to remember. She stood in the doorway that led from the bathroom to the rest of the hotel room that Tom 'The Self Righteous Prick' had put them up in. Tom had paid for the flight for the two of them back in from Seattle and for the suit he wore to the funeral. He hated him for it almost as much as he loved him for it.
"Doesn't mean I didn't love him." He swallowed hard, taking a breath, "Don't."
She sighed and slipped into the bathroom, turning Charlie towards him, tugging at the shoulders of his dress shirt and straightening his tie (the one piece of dress clothing that had come East with them that was worthy of any of the week's affairs). "It doesn't mean that he wasn't a royal arse to you throughout. Why even bother going to the reading?"
After a moment's silence they came together, holding one another like there was no tomorrow. "Because..." Charlie tried to answer, finding that none of the words would come, finding the emotions to hard to convey, "because as much of a miserable son of a bitch as he was, he was my Dad, and he's gone now. He'd want me to be there."
***
The cab pulled up in front of a downtown office building. On its seventeenth floor was Liebman & Snyder Attorney's at Law. Jack Snyder had been one of Stephanie's father's oldest friends when he was alive, and by all accounts a good lawyer.
"We're here, miss." the cabby murmured, looking back at her.
"Yes. Can," Steph hesitated, completely overwhelmed, her right hand locked around the door handle, "can you please go around the block once more?"
"Lady, take my advice; you can't run away from the inevitable."
She gawked at his reflection in the rear view mirror. Dalip (or at least that was the name on his operator's license) had a nice smile that he wasn't showing right now, a kind face and honest eyes. She stared at him a few long moments, emotions gathering in her chest, mixing and churning and becoming something different. He's the same age as dad is she thought, inspecting his license again before looking back at him. As dad was.
"No. I can't. But it will be here when we get back, and maybe I'll have the nerve to open the door then." She swallowed hard, drawing her hand away from the door. "I'll give you an extra twenty if you can just give me those couple minutes."
***
Jack paced around his personal office nervously. Before the wake and funeral, he hadn't seen all three of Max's kids together since before Stephanie graduated from high school. Even then, Charlie always seemed at odds with his father, and so by extension was almost destined to be at odds with Tom who had always taken so strongly after Max.
And if Charlie resented Tom for being so much like his father and for being more loved, it was nothing compared to how they both fell into Steph's shadow. After their mother was taken from them by a drunk driver, her status as the apple of his eye only grew. And however much Charlie would rebel and Tom would imitate, they still stood in the shadow.
The intercom on Jack's desk rang loudly. "Go ahead, Lucille."
"Mr. Dupuis's family is all here."
"Thanks Luce." He sat at his desk and retrieved the video tape from the top drawer before murmuring into the . "Send them in."
***
There was an uncomfortable silence in the room. Six was honestly tight for the office, but it was how Max had wanted it. 'Intimate' he had called it. Charlie paced around like he was waiting for a fight while Marie had found a seat off to the side on the leather sofa and had been making small talk with Jackie. Steph was rigid in her seat, trying not to be weak for dad. Tom was a basket case and Carolyn sat beside him (in Charlie's chair) holding his hand tight.
"Your father," Tom finally said, drawing eyes to him, "bid me show you this video along with the reading of the will. He had me shoot it thirteen weeks ago." He swallowed and took a deep breath, "Just as things were starting to look like they were taking a turn for the worst. I'll read the details after but he insisted you watch this first."
The lawyer turned and slipped the tape into the player and pressed 'Play.'
***
Max Dupuis was vital if he was anything. Even sitting in a hospital bed with more wires connected to him than a computer, there was a sense of stature and strength to him, a sense that would stay with him until the final days. His jaw was set, a five o'clock shadow showing in the wash of florescent light. The first two rounds of treatments had left him bald, but his eyes were sharp.
"If my guess is right, this is the first time the three of you have been together in a room, excluding the Chapel at St. Gregory's and maybe this room here at the end, in a long damned time. And I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for a lot of things.
"I'm making this video because I honestly don't know what kind of shape I'm going to be in to say this to you all at the end, or for that matter if I'll get you all in a room with me at the end. And that's my fault too. It's funny how death's grasp makes you look at things. I wasn't always there for you the way I needed to be after mom died. And sometimes I think I was too hard on you, or too lax or too needy.
"Stephy," he murmured, his voice getting softer, "I love you with all my heart. I know that sometimes I leaned on you hard to be the woman of the house after your mom died. I put a lot of pressure on you and it was unfair. You needed a father to lean on while you were growing up, not to be a crutch to an aging man who wasn't sure where his place in the world was without his wife.
"Tommy, you did everything you could for my attention and my affection. You were everything a father could want in a son and more. I only hope that you didn't think that you had to be like me that," he hesitated, his eyes going down to his lap before they came up again, "that my love was contingent on that. It never was, proud as I was that you wanted to walk in my footsteps."
Max hesitated again, his eyes down in his lap. A tear rolled down his face. "Chaz," he murmured as his eyes came back up once again. "I'm sorry I didn't encourage you enough. I always wanted what I thought was best for you. And you know what they say about the road to hell." He laughed hoarsely and started to cough, hard. After a few moments, he took a deep breath and composed himself. "I never loved you any less for it, but I know it might have seemed that way, and god I'm sorry for that. I wish I'd had some of your work hanging in the house."
He coughed, more shortly this time, and drew his eyes up to the three of them. "All I have is yours. I only hope that you know how much I love you all and how much I hate that I'm the one who came between you, by my action and inaction." He shifted in the bed, pushing himself up a little bit taller. "I love you all, with every fiber of my being. I just wanted to make sure that... that you know that before I'm shook lose completely from this damnable mortal coil."
He coughed again, and the tape jumped ahead, like it had been shut off or a part had been edited out. Max seemed smaller somehow, lower in the bed. There was also an oxygen mask lying in his lap as he looked back at them. "You're not through with me yet." His smile was bright and fatherly, the colour in his cheeks seeming rosy instead of just red. "I have one more task for you to do. One last burden. Jack has my ashes. I want you to go down to the pier and spread me in the river. All of you. I want you to do this for me and I want you to go on and continue to live wonderful lives. Together."
Max swallowed and sat up a little bit, his eyes glossy. "Goodbye, my darlings. Remember always that I love you. And remember to love one another, not just because it's a dying old man's wish, not that it's not a good reason," he winked at them, "but because it's what brothers and sisters do."
==
This marks the 30th (and final) '30 Days of Fic' story. The task was to write a scene saying "good bye."
Click Here for a complete rundown of the works from this challenge.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-10 02:32 pm (UTC)Well done, darling.
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Date: 2011-07-10 05:15 pm (UTC)